End it where I lie. -Poem-

Laying in the sea of leaves
I gaze at the painted sky
Wondering what God has planned for me
asking myself "why?"

Thinking of all the bad things
That was once done and said
All the harsh feelings coming back,
rushing through my head.

My God has something better for me
planned for when i die
So why can't he just take me,
end it where i lie?

There must be a reason
That im still here today
but what those reasons are,
I can not say.

I don't want to live another night
with my brother the way he acts
Family is supposed to love and care,
things he clearly lacks.

I'd rather be with you God,
So just take me away
I have been waiting patiently
But i can not wait for the day

The day that i won't hurt any longer
or feel that i'm worthless
I wonder why my brother
is this ball of angry mess.

Well now the sky is dark,
and im still here.
please just get it over with,
End my dreading fear.

I guess It's not my time,
so back to my home I'll go
I'll hold everything back,
and try not to let my feelings show.

Hopefully he wont visit me tonight,
and hurt me until i scream
Hopefully I'll wake up with you God,
As if it were all just a bad dream.

Intro to me

Well hey there. Considering this is my first entry, it seems appropriate to tell a little bit about myself.
My name, Is Allison. I'm 17, and going to be a senior in High School.
Unlike a lot of my friends, I'm not worried at all that this is my last year.
I know i will do good, and luckily i am not too worried about my future, and pretty much ready to get this show on the road!

I have a tight circle of friends, which i would not give up for the world.
The tightest, however, being my boyfriend Tyler. He and I have been dating a total of One year, and 9 months. None of this time without some struggle, heartache, mistakes, and many tears; I assure you.
We are not even close to a perfect couple, but we make it work.
Not that we are forcing anything, we are in love. Or as much as a 17 & 16 year old can be. I wouldn't change much, and as cliche as it is, I want to be with him forever.
My best friend is also a guy, named Ian.
There is so much i could say about him. I really, could not ask for a better guy friend.
I know for a fact he will Always be there for me. I count on him.
He's a great guy, all the way. I love that kid.

There are people from my past that i miss to no end,
but there is nothing i can do about that now. It all just comes back to bite me.
whatever.

My family is a nutjob. 4 family members couldnt be more different
but in the end i love them.
Mostly my mommy (: Just sayingg..

I'm an odd girl. Something you will find out if you follow my blog posts.
I love writing though, andd reading. Both of which i am very good at.
I'm very smart, and I know what i want in life, And i will get it.
Im not cocky, I'm confident (;
My head is on straight, no doubt about it. But hey, a girls gotta have fun too, So don't think im some goody girll.
You'd be very wrong (:
But heyy, follow me. I really think you'd find a lot of things i have to say interesting. Lets just say i have my strong opinions abotu many things.
Also, i will probably post poetry from time to time, for i love doing that as well.
justt, you know.. Follow me (: