You'll Never forget.

It's always sad when someone you know,
becomes someone you knew
Its even harder when that person
was someone you were close to.

It also is horrible keeping it all in
Like all of the feelings you feel
and you can't even let them out.
and it turns into a big deal.

And those feelings just wont let it go.
They come up all the time,
like when you hear some song
or you say a rhyme.

Even if you are happy,
with your life since the split,
Everything can come back with vengence
and you will take a hit.

It won't go away,
and it won't hide its face
and all of a sudden you are missing someone;
but they are gone without a trace.

It is hard to deal with
and yet, it will never go away
and all of the feelings your feeling,
you can't even say.

Because no one can know,
Half won't agree & the others won't care
and the ache you may be having,
you can not share.

You really are happy with how you are now,
but part of the past will never fade
and besides, he's with her now
so good lives have been made.

but still there is that SOMETHING
You'll never forget
but thinking back on everything
It's still not something you regret.

If i could take back one moment...

If i could take back one moment,
so thered be an end to the torment,
I'd take back the time that i gave in
and I wouldnt have let you win
And we wouldnt have been okay
and there would have been nothing you could say
so that i would take you back
because theres something you lack
and that is something i need
im not talking out of greed
but you really let me down
so my lips make a permanent frown.
I have little trust for you
No matter the good things you do
No matter how good we are
It doesnt come up to par
because i should not have forgaven you
i should have said "we're throguh"
But, i didn't because i'm weak
and now my heart has a leak
from the hole you ripped through it;
something i won't soon forget.

End it where I lie. -Poem-

Laying in the sea of leaves
I gaze at the painted sky
Wondering what God has planned for me
asking myself "why?"

Thinking of all the bad things
That was once done and said
All the harsh feelings coming back,
rushing through my head.

My God has something better for me
planned for when i die
So why can't he just take me,
end it where i lie?

There must be a reason
That im still here today
but what those reasons are,
I can not say.

I don't want to live another night
with my brother the way he acts
Family is supposed to love and care,
things he clearly lacks.

I'd rather be with you God,
So just take me away
I have been waiting patiently
But i can not wait for the day

The day that i won't hurt any longer
or feel that i'm worthless
I wonder why my brother
is this ball of angry mess.

Well now the sky is dark,
and im still here.
please just get it over with,
End my dreading fear.

I guess It's not my time,
so back to my home I'll go
I'll hold everything back,
and try not to let my feelings show.

Hopefully he wont visit me tonight,
and hurt me until i scream
Hopefully I'll wake up with you God,
As if it were all just a bad dream.

Intro to me

Well hey there. Considering this is my first entry, it seems appropriate to tell a little bit about myself.
My name, Is Allison. I'm 17, and going to be a senior in High School.
Unlike a lot of my friends, I'm not worried at all that this is my last year.
I know i will do good, and luckily i am not too worried about my future, and pretty much ready to get this show on the road!

I have a tight circle of friends, which i would not give up for the world.
The tightest, however, being my boyfriend Tyler. He and I have been dating a total of One year, and 9 months. None of this time without some struggle, heartache, mistakes, and many tears; I assure you.
We are not even close to a perfect couple, but we make it work.
Not that we are forcing anything, we are in love. Or as much as a 17 & 16 year old can be. I wouldn't change much, and as cliche as it is, I want to be with him forever.
My best friend is also a guy, named Ian.
There is so much i could say about him. I really, could not ask for a better guy friend.
I know for a fact he will Always be there for me. I count on him.
He's a great guy, all the way. I love that kid.

There are people from my past that i miss to no end,
but there is nothing i can do about that now. It all just comes back to bite me.
whatever.

My family is a nutjob. 4 family members couldnt be more different
but in the end i love them.
Mostly my mommy (: Just sayingg..

I'm an odd girl. Something you will find out if you follow my blog posts.
I love writing though, andd reading. Both of which i am very good at.
I'm very smart, and I know what i want in life, And i will get it.
Im not cocky, I'm confident (;
My head is on straight, no doubt about it. But hey, a girls gotta have fun too, So don't think im some goody girll.
You'd be very wrong (:
But heyy, follow me. I really think you'd find a lot of things i have to say interesting. Lets just say i have my strong opinions abotu many things.
Also, i will probably post poetry from time to time, for i love doing that as well.
justt, you know.. Follow me (: