My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years; but i am lacking the excitement in my life that is pretty much mandatory for a 17 (almost 18) year old. Maybe this is why I constantly flirt with this guys at work, and catch myself thinking and even dreaming of him.. Wishing i had an excuse to see him on the days we do not work together.. Its not like I want to be with this guy. He is clearly kind of a failure at life, not going too far.. and he isnt the best looking guy, but yet.. I don't know. I love my boyfriend, I do. I can't even imagine not having him in my life.
At the same time, I want to have fun.
Its pretty shitty. I don't really know what I want, at the moment.
If life could go how i wanted, I would leave my boyfriend now, have fun with flirting and not worry about it coming to bite me in the ass, then when I'm around 24, I could go back to my boyfriend, Get married, and have babies.
Is thinking this wrong? Am I a horrible person?
I feel like If i really love Tyler, I probably wouldn't even be thinking about other guys.. Yet again, I AM SO YOUNG! I mean...
what the hell. Its kind of terrible.
What should I do about this situation? shittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
And here I am, still feeling annoyed with my boyfriend because he is clingy and always all over me, while I am thinking about a different boy, and how I wish I could talk to HIM.. That's kind of fucked up. Maybe I am just delaying the big BANG.. I dont fucking know
but yeahh; This is just me RANTING. idfkwtd.
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